We all know that friends are good for the soul, but a compelling new book argues that they’re also good for the body — while “frenemies” might actually make us sick. “Evidence has piled up to show that our relationships, including friendships, affect our health at a much deeper level, tweaking not just our psychology and motivation but the function and structure of our organs and cells,” writes science journalist Lydia Denworth in “Friendship: The Evolution, Biology, and Extraordinary Power of Life’s Fundamental Bond” (W.W. Norton), out now.
The average American claims to have about four close friends, and the great majority of us have between two and six. Only 5 percent of those studied had more than eight, while 5 percent had no close friends. (Denworth defines “close” friends as “those you cannot imagine life without” and relatives or spouses can count.) Still, 20 percent of us call ourselves lonely — and the health implications are overwhelming.
According to the book, it takes between 40 and 60 hours to create a casual friendship and over 200 hours to become a “best friend.” One study showed that the happiest people at the end of their lives “tended to their relationships. They actively worked to replace co-workers with new playmates. They put in the time,” Denworth writes. “The takeaway is that the faster you identify the need for connection and make it a priority, the better life will be, the happier you will be.”